I feel like I'm on a Tilt-a-wirl...

This year has been so full already. Last month Spencer was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  We are still trying to wrap out minds around that.  What we thought was a start of an illness and some random 'tude, was actually Diabetes.  We had put Spencer in public school at the end of last year and we were still trying to get him (and me) use to the schedule when this struck.  It was two days in the hospital, and one of those days was him screaming and crying because he was being stuck with all kinds of stuff.  The really hard part was having to tell him no when he asked for food or water, and then hearing him cry because he was so hungry and thirsty.  He had not eaten since breakfast and he was not aloud to eat or drink until the next morning.  

I still can't believe that he will have this for the rest of his life.   Even though things are getting back to "normal" it's still hard to think about it.  

I've also been struggling with whether or not to home school next year.  I love his teacher and the kids in his class, and I love the opportunity he has for art and music; put the pros do not outweigh the cons.  I always have this feeling that I need to defend my choice to homeschool with studies and data, and the truth is even though I have read about all that stuff, I couldn't give you the numbers or the information.  There is so much out there and I feel like my brain is stuffed full of all that I'm reading and learning for teaching my kids that I don't want to fill it with data...not to mention all the diabetic stuff now in there.  I just know that I want to homeschool, I want to do it so bad.  I have hated taking Spencer to school, I hate the forced schedule and I hate how and what they are teaching in the school.  I love the freedom with homeschool, I love that I feel that I can give him a love for learning, a solid ground for my kids to stand on.  I don't know how long they will be homeschooled, but I do know that I feel very strongly that this is how they should be educated right now.  

I am a firm believer that it is the parents choice how their children are educated, so whether it is public or home, or private or whatever; as long as you follow the guidance of the Spirit you are doing what God would want you to do.  

I really don't want to offend anyone or make someone feel like I think their choice to send their kids to school is wrong or worse then homeschool.  I don't believe that at all.  I hope I never make anyone feel that way.  I know how it feels for someone to think what you are doing is "bad".  There is nothing worse then feeling alone in your decisions, feeling very little support...that has been the hardest actually.  I think that is why I feel this urge to "convince" others that I'm doing what I feel is best for my family.  

I don't mean to dump this on everyone...sorry.  Hopefully the rest of this year will be "mild".  If anyone else is struggling with decisions just trust your feelings.  We are given them for a reason.  The road ahead may be hard but doing what you feel is right is a step in the right direction.