I can't believe how fast this summer has gone.  My kids started school last Tuesday and out always gives me a mixture of sad and glad to see them off to school. 

 

We had a great time with cousins this summer, out is so nice to Havre them fairly close.  We experimented with drying fruit and hopefully the second time will work out better.  I know, howc could you fall at drying fruit?  Did you know that you cashmere burn fruit in a dehumidifier?  Well you can.

Here is our crazy mess of a front yard...right now we are working on the inside of our home.  It was built in the 70's and the latest update was in the early 90's and only to parts of the house.  We've done a lot of little things but are saving up to pay cash for the fun stuff like flooring.  

 

I never get tired of the sunsets here or the amazing views on my morning walks.  I had a minor surgery this past February for plantar feseitus in both of my feet and am still recovering.  I haven't been able to walk and explore where we live yet.  And we have been here for almost 3 years.  I'm excited to get out and explore!  

It has been three years since I have posted anything to this blog...I'm not sure if anyone will see it, but I want to write anyway.  In those three years we moved to a small (but growing) town south of Denver, my children have grown and one was diagnosed with Celiac Disease, I have struggled with Depression and feet issues that just added to my Depression, and my son has been diagnosed with Anxiety/Depression as well.  There have been a lot of downs and few ups.  This past year I feel that I have come a long way in my mental health and in understanding myself.  My sister has started training to become a Hypno-Therapist and I have been blessed to be her guinea pig.   I still struggle with letting hope win and not giving into desperation.  I struggle with enjoying being a mom and I used the internet as a way to "escape", I have felt that I lost myself.  I feel like little by little I am finding my self again, it is very very slow, but as I untangle the thoughts and lies in my head I am replacing them with Truth and faith.  I got lazy with my spiritual health and I am slowing trying to gain that back.  I know that the Lord has given me these specific weakness and gifts for a reason, for my journey, my purpose.  Not to fail, but to excel and succeed. 

Our December

Here is a sampling of our December.  There was a fun Nativity play on Christmas Eve...at our house, gingerbread house making, new born squishy baby nephew, a personal visit from Santa himself along with Mrs. Claus at Grandma and Papa's house, and of course fun Christmas pjs.  Things have felt super busy, but it has also been wonderful, peaceful, and happy.  We are now on our second term for school...this is the farthest I have made it!  It is actually going great!  We are steadily moving forward at our own pace, and it is wonderful.  

I feel like I'm on a Tilt-a-wirl...

This year has been so full already. Last month Spencer was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes.  We are still trying to wrap out minds around that.  What we thought was a start of an illness and some random 'tude, was actually Diabetes.  We had put Spencer in public school at the end of last year and we were still trying to get him (and me) use to the schedule when this struck.  It was two days in the hospital, and one of those days was him screaming and crying because he was being stuck with all kinds of stuff.  The really hard part was having to tell him no when he asked for food or water, and then hearing him cry because he was so hungry and thirsty.  He had not eaten since breakfast and he was not aloud to eat or drink until the next morning.  

I still can't believe that he will have this for the rest of his life.   Even though things are getting back to "normal" it's still hard to think about it.  

I've also been struggling with whether or not to home school next year.  I love his teacher and the kids in his class, and I love the opportunity he has for art and music; put the pros do not outweigh the cons.  I always have this feeling that I need to defend my choice to homeschool with studies and data, and the truth is even though I have read about all that stuff, I couldn't give you the numbers or the information.  There is so much out there and I feel like my brain is stuffed full of all that I'm reading and learning for teaching my kids that I don't want to fill it with data...not to mention all the diabetic stuff now in there.  I just know that I want to homeschool, I want to do it so bad.  I have hated taking Spencer to school, I hate the forced schedule and I hate how and what they are teaching in the school.  I love the freedom with homeschool, I love that I feel that I can give him a love for learning, a solid ground for my kids to stand on.  I don't know how long they will be homeschooled, but I do know that I feel very strongly that this is how they should be educated right now.  

I am a firm believer that it is the parents choice how their children are educated, so whether it is public or home, or private or whatever; as long as you follow the guidance of the Spirit you are doing what God would want you to do.  

I really don't want to offend anyone or make someone feel like I think their choice to send their kids to school is wrong or worse then homeschool.  I don't believe that at all.  I hope I never make anyone feel that way.  I know how it feels for someone to think what you are doing is "bad".  There is nothing worse then feeling alone in your decisions, feeling very little support...that has been the hardest actually.  I think that is why I feel this urge to "convince" others that I'm doing what I feel is best for my family.  

I don't mean to dump this on everyone...sorry.  Hopefully the rest of this year will be "mild".  If anyone else is struggling with decisions just trust your feelings.  We are given them for a reason.  The road ahead may be hard but doing what you feel is right is a step in the right direction.

Christmas 2013

So here are the very very late Christmas pictures.  My sister and her kids visited for the Christmas holiday and it was fun to see all the kids playing together.  Addy and her cousin, loved playing with the playdough...they played for over an hour.    And the last picture is how Zach is most of the time...minus the snowman pipe.  As he has entered teenhood he seems to have forgotten how to put on a shirt.  :)  I think he likes showing off his swimming muscles.  

We tried to key down gifts this year, but it is nearly impossible to do.  They each got one Santa gift and a book.  Then they got a small toy and some crayons with a little candy in their stocking.  And then some more toys and clothes from grandparents.  We've been trying to figure out how to keep the entitlement syndrome away.  I guess if we keep trying the eventually we will succeed.  Right?

Because of Rain

 

 

 

 

So because of the rain our basement got some water damage.  It came in through the window and soaked the floor.  The carpet in the basement is super old (and ugly) anyway so we may use the water as an excuse to recarpet the basement. 
Because of the rain a small creek by us rose considerably.  There is usually an island in the middle of the creek, but it was completely covered. And there was an abundance of Crawdads around as well.  We were there for our weekly nature study and met a family with children the same age and sex as ours, and they were LDS and they were in the ward that I was in when I lived with my parents.  Small world.  The kids love this creek, it is like a piece of the country within suburbia. 

Sleepers

 

 

 

I have been horrible about keeping regular with this blog,  sorry.  I would like to say that I will try to do better, but I don't think that is going to happen.  Right now school and family are taking a huge chunk of my energy right now.  But I am going to keep posting stuff.  So all these pictures are actually  from July.  There seems to be a lot of sleeping going on in July.  The last picture is Zach.  He wanted to watch a movie and the movie player was on his desk, so he took his mattres off of his bed and hoisted it up on a storage container and propted up the ends with a stool and a box.  And then he fell asleep.  I asked him why he didn't move the movie player instead, he said, " Cause I'm lazy and didn't want to move it."  Hmm...